Don’t tell me “Never mind” or “I’ll tell you later” because I do mind and you won’t

by Anonymous

Many moons ago, I worked with a lovely woman in our corporation. Her hearing was so bad that we’d tell her when to replace her ear molds because of the feedback and she couldn’t hear it. I was just hard of hearing back then. I remember our impatient attitude sometimes with Marilyn. We all used to tell her, “Never mind,” or “I’ll tell you later,” but we never did. One day Marilyn put a stop to it all with me. She told me rightfully so, that I never tell her later and she wants to know what’s going on, so knock off the “never mind.”

I remembered and I’m going through it myself now. I beep but I don’t hear it so am told. I’m told never mind and feel the sting. I understand it and it’s dismissive and makes me feel less than who I am.

Comments for Don’t tell me “Never mind” or “I’ll tell you later” because I do mind and you won’t

Jun 13, 2011

Not exactly the same, but…

by: Anonymous

I grew up as a swimmer, and continue to swim (have for 24 years of my 28 year old life). I had massive ear infections as a child, and my wax develops abnormally because of this.

Anyway, long story short I didn’t know that wax was impacting my hearing. I thought I was slowly losing my hearing in my mid-twenties. I had 10% and 40% hearing in each ear respectively.

My significant other would tease me playfully when I would ask “what?” several times. I would try to make a joke of it and pat my left ear and say, “Talk in the good ear!”

However, every now and then he’d get tired of repeating something, of speaking louder than he was used to, or he’d just be plain tired, and the joking would stop. This was when he hurt my feelings.

It hurts to make the decision every time you don’t quite hear somebody – Do I make a pain of myself and ask them to repeat it over and over until I hear it, or do I just let it go.

Let me tell you, you certainly master the art of responding in ways that make sense to the other person, as if you understood them, even if you didn’t. You also become a master of context, perhaps understanding the previous and last sentence, and a few words in between.

Luckily for me I discovered what was wrong with me, and now get my ears flushed by a nurse twice a year! It HURT to be able to hear again, and sometimes I almost miss my wax!

Sep 22, 2010

Want to Punch Someone

by: Anonymous

‘NEVERMIND’ makes me IMMEDIATELY want to punch someone. Thank you so much for writing about it.

Jul 14, 2010

Thank You For Saying Something About It

by: Deaf and Proud to be it

I’ve been deaf for almost my whole life,since I was 4. So often it seems that I get left out of the loop, Ireally dislike it. Sometimes I wish that I could hear, especially to see what my voice sounds like, but then I remember how many friends I would’ve never aquired. Also, now that my friends are used to me, I’m always kept up with what’s going on.

Now I know that I’m blessed to be deaf.


Jun 16, 2010

Loss of Knowledge, Yet, a Life’s lesson Learned

by: Anonymous

Good point! I like your comment. The one thing that I would add at this time would be that I am sorry for the lost knowledge that you and your friend may have shared…I hope that just as you have shared this with us; you also will share it with those who miss out on your words of wisdom, due to their own lack of patience and understanding.


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